f u l l — not busy
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Hi friends,
It’s been a minute — how are we?
I started these newsletters because I wanted more ways to document and share my creative life with others. I have two main things I want to share:
I made 4 new zines
I love you!
The title of this newsletter is inspired by two pieces of text that offered me new language. These texts supported an important shift in the way I orient towards my life and make decisions about my labor, relationships, time, artistry, & energy.
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text #1
excerpt from “not busy, focused; not busy, full”
by adrienne maree brown
I am so focused
on the imaginary world which is trying to whisper to me
how to write a story that unlocks a heart
to write a spell that makes us bored with punishment and immune to capitalism
I am so full of ancestors and characters and I can’t tell which is who
but they are a chorus
…
I hope to never be busy again
I owe this quiet breath to my grandmother
I am creating at an astounding rate
and some of it I even write down
some moments I get so still
I can sense how it is all connected
and that the tissue is love
and I know my love could never be wasted
or too small a contribution
I say yes when love leads
Read the full poem here.
text #2
From Lessons in Liberation: An Abolitionist Toolkit for Educators
(Toward a Greenhouse Model. Shawn Ginwright interviewed by Farima Pour-Khorshid. 266)
“We need to pivot away from the addiction that we have to frenzy -- the addiction that we have to the “to do” list, to always being busy and filling our lives with tasks. While we have to work and get things done, it basically makes us aware of the ways in which capitalism has determined our value as human beings. And really, the truth of it is that when we’re busy, we’re really looking for mattering, right? We’re looking to say I matter because I’m busy. And the pivot away from this addiction to frenzy simply says that we also have to find new ways to matter.”
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Listen, those who know me well would tell you I could probably write a memoir using my to-do lists and analog calendar. It is true, I live a structured & calculated life and like many of us, I continue to unlearn the ways capitalism tells me my self-worth is attached to what I achieve.
“What do you do” and “how do you spend your time” are questions we get often. I don’t seem to have a clear and legible response, so it usually comes out something like “a little bit of this, a little bit of that” or “oh, many things…” or
“babysittingartmakingjewishmuseumthatsnotreallyamuseumyetsupportingeducatorsandartistsbeinginjewishtimepracticingrelationshipscollageaskingbigquestionslisteningtobirdsbeingmezmerizedbyflowersfriendscoffeeswimingloveheartbreakfeelingthestateoftheworld,” how about you?
I’m not sure when I’ll have a more satisfying response. Or maybe I just need more practice with my elevator pitch. Either way, what I’ve got in this newsletter is a glimpse of what I’ve been up to, or more accurately, what I’ve been feeling into.
The answer I want to give when I get this question is, generally speaking, I move through the world with immense awe for the beauty, radiance, brilliance, and possibility I witness all around me. My daily practices shift from time to time, but the six verbs that remain consistent are: exist, love, study, dream, create and share. These six verbs dictate not only what I do, but how I am and how I relate to others. They contribute the fullness of my life. And if you’re receiving this newsletter, you likely do, too.
With you in the shift from busy to full & uncovering our new ways to matter,
Maya